All day today I've been thinking about a particular subject that I brought up to Lance earlier when we were on our way to church. The question was, "If anything ever happened to us and we passed...Who will take care of our kids?" I've put a lot of thought into it and feel that it isn't a subject to be taken lightly. Just thinking about it terrifies me! I can't imagine being with out my kids..let alone...my kids being with out us.
I hope and pray everyday that my family may be safe and protected where ever we go, but just like the tsunami/earthquake in Japan...no one expected it! Disasters happen inevitably and no one can predict the future!
Lance was driving when I asked him the question and he seemed hesitant to answer. So I told him what I felt. My first choice would be my parents! Now that I've had this whole day to think of it...I don't even know anymore! But when I told him, he got offended and asked why not his parents? This conversation wasn't going the way I wanted it to! lol It's not anything personal towards his family. But at the time, I was just thinking my parents because....well they raised me! I know my parents better than anyone else and I want whats best for my kids. I want someone who I can trust, who will give my kids a good life. Not that Lances parents can't do the same. Both Lance and my parents love our son's so much, it's hard to make this kind of decision. I've thought of how old each would be when my boys are in their teenage years and of course if they are too old, they wouldn't be able to give them their undivided attention.
I've thought of my sisters who I know would care and love for my kids. Especially Pearl who doesn't have kids yet. Nita already has 2 kids and 1 on the way...
I have 3 amazing brothers! My two oldest brothers are both financially stable, one has a son who lives with his mom and the other doesn't have any kids. I just can't see my kids staying with them though. Rex, my youngest brother, is so good with the kids. He is still so young though.
Lance has siblings as well, that I've thought about. His brother Ben and sis Kalani have come to mind.
Geez, this is not easy! Especially because my family lives in Utah and his in Washington. There are so many pro's and con's about everyone... I hope Lance and I will be able to come to an agreement and talk about this soon so when we do, we can look into doing our will just to be on the safe side.
What are your thoughts?? Have you ever thought about this question?
Oh yes! It's such a hard choice, but we came to our decision knowing a couple things. 1. Someone will always be offended, no on purpose, it's human nature, and you have to just know and deal with it. And 2. grandparents are not an options because they are older and need to focus on their health, and living as stress free of a life as possible. With those things in mind we had to decide who was most like us, and who would and is living a life centered around the gospel. It's so hard, because you don't want to x someone out because they are inactive, but learning what we've learned about the gospel and knowing what we know, our kids need the best possible chance to return and live with us in the end. Celestial Glory. That's this lifes goal. We just made our decision and then had some guidelines on what would happen. We decided not to choose my inlaws, however we did say that my kids would go there every weekend until they were old enough to decide what they wanted to do, we had to decide what that age was, we chose 14. You know stuff like that. It's sooo hard Tilly and what we did may not be the solution for you guys, but that's just how we came to our decision. I hope it was helpful, if not good luck.
ReplyDeleteAAAWWWW Tilly, I totally understand what you're saying. OFF COURSE, I don't have kids yet but I know right off the top what my choices would be when i'll be able to have kids (LOL, i hope i can and hope soon). I guess its common to every young women or womens in general to always turn to parents as their number choice of who to turn to. I know I'm like that always. Womens are so attached to their parents and I'm sure Lance has the same feeling, his number one choices are his parents too. This was always the subject my parents would always bring up everyday, every family prayer mtg since we were young till now and it'll always end up with tears. But one thing I taught from them was SELF RELIANT. They taught each and everyday about how we should be self-reliant, learning how to stand on ur own two feet because one of these days "we won't be around". Might not be a bad idea to start teaching them now and always telling them about what u fear that way they're aware of your thoughts and fears of this life. I know I was everytime I would hear it from my parents. This is one of the main question I always discuss with my husband as well. Mind you we are only human beings, we have different opinions about everything I hope and pray It'll go well with Lance! Maybe it's just his first thoughts that came to mind. If nothing works out, then pray and fast about it! Love u Tilly and hope everything will work out.
ReplyDeleteChoose me choose me lol jk sis.. That is a tough question and I wouldn't even think twice on taking care of my nephews but it would be so hard know that you guys aren't there seeing there faces would remind me of you and lance and that would be the hardest thing for me but We love you and your family and hope that it doesn't happen we love you sis.
ReplyDeletenope choose me hahahaha they hate you pearl hahaha
ReplyDeletepersonally...i'd NEVER leave my kids to my in-laws. LOL. but thats cuz i'm a jerk. hahahahaha.
ReplyDeletehaha Lili- Diddo:)
ReplyDelete