Dads Song

This was my Dads favorite song! The last time we came to Utah, he picked us up from the airport and I remember him bumpin this song so loud while in the car. One thing I have learned from my dad, is to LOVE! He had the biggest heart. He was always giving to others, never hesitated to say no. Growing up, there were a lot of people who stayed at our house when they needed a place to stay. My Dad always welcomed my brothers and sisters friends to stay with us until they were back on their feet.
I think I take after my Dad a lot. He taught me to always look to the good in everyone, to always give service unto others and most of all, he taught me how to love my husband. He loved my Mom so much and did everything for her. Everyone knew that. Like my Uncle John would say, "Your Dad would do anything to  make your mom happy, even if it means doing something illegal." lol and the same goes for his children.

He spent a lot of time at my Uncle Johns house when my mom was away. They were best friends! In my Dads words, this is what he told John:

"Brother, If I ever pass, I want JB and the family to sing this song for my funeral, dedicated to my wife" (as he gives the CD to him with the song "Loimata Maligi")

It was a love song and there wasn't a dry eye that day when we sang. My Dad must of known his time was coming soon.

I think thats why I expect so much from Lance...because I see how my Dad treats my mom, and how he spoiled her. Never missed a birthday, anniversary, mothers day etc; He always cooked for her and so much more. Anyway, I am jumping all over the place with this post. This song will always be one of my favorites. My cousins are amazing and I want to thank them for their time and effort that they put into helping us with the funeral! With little practice with this song, it couldn't have been any better!

Progress

Biggest Loser Ended yesterday and I am really happy with how well I did. It was a long 12 weeks but it has been a life changing experience for me. I did not win but I'm ok with that. I went through a lot these past couple weeks. Even with my Dad passing away, I'm surprised that I was able to maintain my weight while I was in Utah for month. Especially after eating SO much!

My Dad's passing was a big wake up call to me. It makes me sad that he could of lived a longer life if he ate healthier. He was too young to die. At times I have to stop myself from thinking why he wouldn't want to change his eating habits, to live longer...to see his children and his grandchildren grow but whats done is done. No regrets, no what if's or But's. He is my motivation to live a healthier life. 

As I've said before in a previous post, my journey started May 22, 2012. Starting weight was 222 lbs.

With lots of exercise and eating healthy (sometimes hehe), I am now at 198 lbs 3 months later. (August 14, 2012) Here are my before and after measurements:

My Abs made me really happy! 8 inches off! Whoop whoop! Pretty sad that my man calves are still the same haha I dont think I'll ever be able to get rid of those, or my thighs and hips! haha Well, my husband appreciates it! ;)

My hard work has paid off and this is only the beginning! My goal weight is 145 lbs. I am going to get there! 

Before Pictures

March 2011

February 2012

March 2012-My before pic I sent for my biggest Loser competition. Drey took this pic so it's a little blurry hehe


After:

Around 205 lbs at my Daddys Funeral! I miss you sooo much!

AND YAY FOR BEING OUT OF THE 200'S!!! IT'S BEEN FIVE YEARS SINCE I'VE EVER BEEN IN THE 100'S!

"SHORT TERM SACRIFICES, FOR LONG TERM RESULTS!"
I'M IN IT TO WIN IT!

I look to you

My Dad loved music. He loved hearing us sing and play. When my Grandpa passed, years ago...My Dad and I got to sing together for the service. He offered it and wanted to sing "Oh Lord my Redeemer." It was one of his favorite songs. I was singing the 1st verse, while he sang the 2nd. When the day came to sing, he forgot the words and just started to cry so I took over and sang the whole song. haha I will never forget that memory of him. I think that was the first, and last time that he ever sang solo in front of a crowd haha

 I never thought the day would come that I would be looking for music to sing at his Funeral. I wanted to sing all his favorites. Dance with my Father will always remind me of him. If there is a song that I have sang countless times, it would be that song and thats because my Dad would always volunteer me to sing it...For Ward Fathers Day dances, weddings, parties etc; Pretty much every occasion. lol 

I was in charge of the music for the Funeral. It was stressful because we had no time to practice anything. The only time we got to really practice was the day before the service and the day of. All the music that were sung, were my Dads Favorites. I chose to sing I look to you because the words of that song were everything I felt towards my Dad:

As I lay me down

Heaven hear me now

I'm lost without a cause

After giving it my all

Winter storms have come

and darkened my sun.

After All that I've been through

Who on Earth can I turn to?

I look to you

I look to you

AFTER ALL MY STRENGTH IS GONE

IN YOU I CAN BE STRONG...

...And when melodies are gone, in you I hear a song

...I dont know if I'm gonna make it. Nothing to do but lift my head.

...Take me far away from the battle. I need you to shine on me!

I kept telling myself that I wasn't going to be able to sing it without crying so much! So everyday I prayed. Prayed like I never have before, asking God to give me strength to be strong. To give me comfort. We had a week before his funeral services and I really wanted to give him a good service so I tried to get as much crying out as possible before the service.

I have never felt so calm, EVER while singing. I almost always get nervous, singing in front of crowds but this time around was different. It was for my Dad. Call me crazy but I really did feel him by my side that day! I wasn't sad. I was happy. He was at peace, free from pain and suffering. He was with his Mom who he loved soooo much! Why should I be sad? I honestly couldn't believe what I felt, while singing to him. I have never, ever before closed my eyes through most of the song, never felt so sure...not one bit of nervousness in me. Thats why I knew he was there. 

It was a beautiful service. I know he was smiling down on all of us and PROUD of everything we accomplished that week. He brought our family together and in just 2 weeks, we are closer than we have ever been. 

I love you Dad. I miss you! I miss hearing your voice...You are my motivation to live worthy so I can see you again. "I LOOK TO YOU" in everything I do!

-Daddys girl

Crying out for you

I can't sleep. I've been trying to write a blog about my Dad's passing but it's just too hard. It feels weird to get back to regular life, without reflecting back to memories of him. I miss him so much and I feel so lonely without him. How do you even explain to people who love and care about you that even though they're right there with you, you still feel alone in this World? How do you face your husband of 5 years and tell him you feel lonely even when he's right next to you? I always was a Daddy's Girl! He was my Hero. No, he IS my hero. Since then my life has been in complete disbelief and denial.

I miss you Dad!!!!!!!!

(The last time I saw him in April 2012)

to be cont...